A Word About.....is anything we as parent advocates feel is missing the parent perspective.  We will attempt to bring our knowledge of what is going on in the Child Welfare System day to day to the forefront of people's minds.  Here we will combat the automatic condemnation of the parent accused of abuse and neglect.

First, we would like to ask,

"WHO AMONG YOU IS A PERFECT PARENT?" 

"Who among you has NEVER looked both ways before disciplining your child?" 

"Who among you has NEVER yelled at your child in anger?"

"Who among you has NEVER disciplined your child inappropriately?"

"Who among you has NEVER fallen asleep while caring for your young child?"

"Who among you has NEVER made a poor decision that could have turned out differently?"

"Who among you has NEVER repeated any negative behaviors taught by your own parents?"

"Who among you has NEVER regretted a parenting decision you made for your child?"

Now, we would like to point out that THERE IS NO MANUAL ON PARENTING.

And of course, there really are NO perfect parents; so, next time you want to pick up a stone, look in the mirror.

A Word About.................the mothers involved in the Raid on the Eldorado Compound:

I have been reading the critical reports about the mothers whose children were removed from their arms.  They just can't seem to do anything correctly for the media and the bloggers.  These moms are under a national microscope that feels like a witch hunt.

    "How can they seem to have no emotion?" or "Why do they dress like that?"

    "Why are they not crying more?" or "Their tears seem fake."

    "How could they allow this to happen to their children?" and "They're just as guilty...."

    "Why would they go back to the ranch?" and "How could they choose to live like that?"

    "They seem robotic." or "They are brainwashed." or "They are perpetrators!"

    "Why don't they seem to cooperate?......If it was me, I'd do anything to get my kids back."

And the list goes on and the venomous, hateful, condemning remarks seem unending.  Let me explain something to America about getting your children removed under ANY circumstance.  It is horrible.  It is terrible.  It is the worst thing that can happen to a parent.  It is like the end of the world.  It is like having a part of yourself torn from your own body.  It doesn't matter what the circumstances are, warranted or NOT, it is emotionally, physically, and psychologically exhausting and overwhelming.  Picture a war zone where bombs have been going off for days and at some point you just stop flinching when you hear another. 

This is called TRAUMA and our bodies and brains have protective factors that kick in for survival.  Had the ladies made huge emotional displays then they would have been criticized for that as well.  Let me set America straight, as a Parent Advocate who has been watching this process repeated over and over for 4 years now......

THERE IS NO CORRECT, ACCEPTED, APPROVED WAY TO HAVE YOUR CHILDREN REMOVED UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE.  THERE IS NO PROTOCOL.

No matter how a parent reacts, the parent will be criticized because with CPS cases there is assumed guilt instead of assumed innocence, as the media frenzy of one-sided attacks against the parents, "experts" who have no experience with the actual system, and arm-chair critics who apparently are perfect parents, all weigh in on something they've never experienced. 

I urge any parents/nonparents who think they know just how they would react if their child was being removed to reconsider and postpone judgement since no one should believe everything they see, hear, or read.  There really are 3 sides to every CPS story:  The State, The Parents, and The Truth lying somewhere in between everyone's subjective views and judgements.  It does not serve the families, the children, the parents, or society in general to jump to conclusions and convictions in the "court of public opinion."  This is NOT "in the best interests of the children."