As Parent Advocates we are constantly hearing stories from our clients that just don't make sense.  There are flaws in the logic of their cases that never cease to amaze us.  We would like to provide this venue as a way to expose some of the seemingly insane and rediculous requests and decisions that are being made in the "best interests" of these parents' children and provide a discussion of how upside-down logic harms families.

CHOICES:

One of the most remarkable things I have witnessed as a Parent Advocate is the contradiction found when the System consistently tells parents their children were removed because they (the parents) made wrong choices, and then, the same System turns around and takes all choices away from these same parents.  They are told when and where to be for every court date, appointment, therapy session, evaluation, visit, drug test, etc., for up to a year, with little or no flexibility at all.  They have few, if any, choices about who will provide their required services and none dare express an opinion about the relevance or quality of those services.  They are so often negatively assessed on things that would normally be personal preferences.....on how they look, how they dress, how they talk, how they think, how they feel, and how they love their children.  How does a System expect to help a parent learn how to make responsible choices when all their choices are removed with their children?  This is upside-down logic.  It harms families.

STRENGTHENING FAMILIES THROUGH SEPARATION?

I still can not understand how the Child Welfare System thinks that you can strengthen a family by separating it or pulling it apart.  Since the majority of cases in any State's System are for neglect, not abuse, finding a solution to fix neglect seems so simple.  However, the Federal Government, with the aid of the Adoption and Safe Families Act (1997), decided that the best way to strengthen families was to do just that-REMOVE the children and create new families through Adoption.  This is such upside-down logic that I can't believe it has been so supported.  This Act created incentives for Adoption, and money from the Federal Government to the States for Foster Care.  There is limited $$$$ for actual prevention of abuse and neglect and the States seem forced to remove children (because that's what the Feds will pay for) instead of leaving the children and actually helping the families improve through education, concrete support, and real programs that would strengthen existing familes.  And thus, Child Welfare seems bent on "strengthening families through separation" every day.  This upside-down logic not only destroys families, it creates trauma that is irreversible and damaging to the fabric of our society. 

BRAINWASHING VS RESPONSIBILITY:

How can the FLDS mothers be "brainwashed" and be "responsible" for the alleged abuse of their children simultaneously?  This does not make sense.  They can not be both.  This is upside-down logic!  Making vicitms into perpetrators harms families.

INDIVIDUALITY VS COMMUNITY:

All at once the FLDS women are being asked to find support networks in the outside community and to jump on the track of independence simultaneously.  They are being forced to find support from strangers, while being criticized for seeking support from their other families.  They are being asked to seek employment to be financially independent, but they are alternately being asked to seek out community resources to provide financial support.  The very "strengths" and "supports" listed on their Service Plans are the very same things they are being asked to give up:  working together, community financial structure, support from older women and adolescent girls.  All these things are strengths they have to give up in order to complete their Service Plans.  This is upside-down logic!  It harms families.